Friday, December 16, 2005

Sleepless

If there's one thing I can do lately, and do well, it's sleep.

At night, when I finally nod off snuggled close to PC I am unwakeable - and indeed, PC admits to trying some fairly bold moves to stir me from slumber, but I am reportedly unresponsive.

Last night I dozed off earlier than usual, again snuggled close to PC watching TV in bed. At 2:30 am I awoke to find him still watching TV - only in addition to this, all of my laundry was folded on my dresser and hung up and put away, the kitchen had been cleaned and it was apparent he'd been cleaning while I slept.

I'm torn between worshipping this god who would clean while I sleep and feeling horribly guilty. I threatened to go detail his car when he fell asleep and as usual he just laughed at me.

I used to resent feeling largely responsible for the household chores. EH would do them, but not with any sense of urgency and truth-be-told I would feel overwhelmed and eventually the house would be a disaster area that would only be resolved (somewhat) when I woke up on a weekend in a do-or-die frame of mind and tortured EH and SG like slaves to move. I am so appreciative over the fact that I now have a man who works with me on this...although, admittedly I am slacking on my side largely due to back pain issues over the past 3 weeks that are only now slowly subsiding.

Just one more small thing that makes me happy...

I'm sure that the adjustment is large for PC too. His wife didn't work and the household was her sole responsibility. PC no longer has "maid service" since I work full-time and his attitude about it has been wonderful. Not a hesitation, not a complaint...

PC continues to fascinate me. His thought processes and his ways are so intriguing to me. He is such a different creature than I have known. I admitted last night that I am enrapt by his expressions when he speaks. PC has two sides that I am familiar with - a playful side that is punctuated with smiles and laughs and devilish grins and a very serious side. When he speaks to me from the serious side I am completely swept up in watching his face and I find myself paying such close attention to every word. PC spent so many years keeping himself under fairly tight control. Never showing emotion or sharing thoughts with anyone. Feeling he has to always be in control. He has opened up so much to me and shared so many things that our emotional intimacy level is strong. Sexually, he still wrestles with the control issues but that is yet another area we are having some fun exploring with this open line of communication.

SG is spending the night with EH tonight and tomorrow night leaving PC and I mostly alone together. I think one can guess how we'll be spending it...

Posted by Red :: 10:06 AM :: | ---------------------------------------