Monday, May 09, 2005

All Around Us...

Hey, look at the time...nearing 2 am and I can't sleep. My mouth hurts. My head hurts. And I'm briefly awake from sleeping all day...but soon to return to bed.

While I'm awake, I blog-surfed.

Remember my whiny post from a few days ago where I was feeling my own mortality? I'm so disgusted with that post having read some other bloggers who are facing that which I was only abstractly worrying over...

First, there's Inanna. A new blog I started reading and felt drawn to. I've only read her for a few days now and today my heart ached for her reading this post.

Then there is this blog. A woman whose life just took a scary turn just as her dreams seemed to be coming true.

I'm the kind of annoying person who seeks meaning in everything. Between my worries and the stumbling upon these posts, I feel like a wake-up call is in order to myself. It's time to take better care of my body.

It's time to become more regimented on watching the blood pressure. It's time to become more diligent in the cancer screenings, because cancer is unfortunately a strong likelihood. It's time to look around me at my darling EH and SG and realize that I owe it to them to try. I know somethings are beyond my control, but I can at least do my part to strive for the better.

I don't want to know what the reality of facing that kind of news feels like. I don't want to know the fear, the pain or the sorrow. And, in truth, I don't want them to know it either. I want to be able to erase their posts and say "See, it never really happened! Everything's fine!"

Life and it's complexities are all around us. Blogland has some interesting dynamics, doesn't it?

I came here first to explore my own feelings. And I find myself exploring other people's feelings as well. I didn't expect that part. I didn't expect to learn - only to express.

But I think it's valuable just the same.

Posted by Red :: 1:51 AM :: | ---------------------------------------