The Odd Wife

Thursday, February 23, 2006

My Comments on Your Actions

Dear STBX,

Yes, I received the emails. I really wish you had just asked me if I knew about them before you spent hours forwarding them to me. I've seen every one of them before. I'm well aware of all of those situations. We had "full disclosure" with one another because we were committed to being honest and open with each other. Did you pay attention to the dates on the emails? Did you notice when they abruptly stopped?

Yes, I know that you sent them. Yes, I know that you're pretending you have no idea what I am talking about and that's okay. But please know that your IP addresses showed up in the email headers as well as on the blog link you clicked. IP addresses don't lie. And I know yours.

I imagine your intentions were to upset me or cause a fight. But I think what you did hurt you much more than it hurt me, and I am sorry for that. I've already read all of those emails. He shared them all with me when this began.

Most importantly, I'm wondering if you found the answer in those emails. The answer that I couldn't give you. You wouldn't have heard me. The answer is this: It was never about me.

Check the dates. Your problems date back to at least the beginning of last year in those emails. Long before I knew either of you. He was already gone, but still staying for his children. Knowing that, can you stop blaming me? Can you realize it was over long before I was an issue?

You have been through a lot of pain these past few months. You're dealing with a lot of anger. Right now, your family needs you and your strength. Your focus should be with them and not on digging up the past or trying to cause strife. Don't let this cloud the things that are truly important to you.

You already know that once upon a time I walked in your shoes. I was just as angry and bitter and hateful. It cost me something that I can never replace and will always mourn.

STBX, your marriage was over years ago. He told you that he was staying only for the kids for a very long time but that was growing harder and harder for him. You didn't get along. There was no communication, no honesty and no affection.

I am sorry for all that you are going through. I hope you will find that it is far better to put your energies into moving forward rather than fighting. There is no fight. The situation is what it is. No one wants to battle you. No one wants to hurt you.

It was never about me. Don't let it be about me now. Your family needs you and your kids need you. Let it be about them now.

You obviously know my email if you should want to talk.

Posted by Red :: 8:47 PM :: |
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