The Odd Wife

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Spring Cleaning for the Soul

The weekend was spent spring cleaning. From top to bottom, we dusted, vacuumed, picked up, rearranged and washed. We’re not finished, but our usually cluttered home has been transformed into a rather pleasant place to be.

Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could do the same to our souls?

We’d toss out the bad, the ugly and the unwanted. We’d polish and shine the beautiful moments we’ve stored in our hearts. We’d rearrange the cluttered thoughts into something organized and tidy. And, like my house, we’d be renewed.

During our cleaning, I would occasionally find an object that I was not sure what to do with. I’d consider where it might be best stored or displayed for several moments before placing it to the side for a bit while I cleaned on. Eventually, the solution would come to me and the object would be placed in its new home.

I find that I approach my life in this same manner. When I am confronted with a situation that I do not know how to handle, I hold it nearby and study it, contemplate it and test it out in different ways. I must solve the puzzle before I can put it away. And, thus, I am still turning the events of last year around and around to find their place in my life.

I’ve tried to hide them away in dark corners, only to stumble across them when I least expect to. I’ve tried to display them in the open and found that the daily sight of them only caused more stress.

And still, I look for their final resting place.

EH cleaned side by side with me throughout the weekend. At different points, I would study him. His broad, strong shoulders. His muscular arms. His perfectly chiseled features. His pale aqua eyes beneath a fringe of thick, dark lashes. Each glance filled me with those little butterflies. I am married to a remarkably handsome man. I am married to a man who I find infinitely more attractive than any other man alive..

Beyond looks, I am married to a man who loves me. A man who rubbed my feet and fixed me dinner on Friday night when I worked until after 9 pm. A man who patiently folded and hung laundry. A man who let me nap Sunday while he worked on. A man who seems to always have my best interests at heart.

It should be perfect. I love him. And one day, I hope to be able to finally lay the past year deep in the storage area of my soul. I expect to run across the hurt and doubt from time to time, but I hope each time will be a bit less painful.

I remain eternally grateful that what happened seems to have saved our marriage as much as it hurt it...

Posted by Red :: 9:24 PM :: |
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