Sunday, October 09, 2005

The Weekend in Review

I've neglected you, dear bloggies. I'm sorry.

I've always wanted to be one of those girls with a ton of friends. With my cell phone ringing like mad and people happy to spend time with me. I've always wanted people to care about me and my well-being. And I'm lucky to have that now.

Friday night, EH and I took SG to a drive-in movie with PlayBoy and his wife and kids. We saw Wallace & Gromit. Cute film. We laughed, talked and had a sort of picnic. It was great.

Saturday morning, I woke and tried to go to the gym, but the cell started ringing. Gman wanted to get together with us. Then Grabby Man called. Do you remember him? He's the husband to BestFriendM but he's also my friend. We typically have a tumultuos relationship. We're close due to years of being together around the clock. I've worked for him, I've stayed with them, our kids have grown up together. I know he loves me in his way and he'd look out for me. BestFriendM was out of town camping with the kids and he wanted to hang out and talk. The divorce is drawing near and he's preparing to move out of the house. EH was catching another cold and was fine with it, so I went.

We strolled Las Olas and browsed the shops. We had lunch together and then strolled some more. We sipped wine by the river and talked. I think he left feeling much better. It was made pretty clear to me that it was important to him that we stay friends even after he and BestFriendM part ways. Grabby Man doesn't have many close friends and I'm probably his closest. In the end, I hugged him tight, he kissed my forehead and we left feeling like everything would be okay.

My mother called. I didn't answer. She left me a message saying my stepdad was in the hospital. My cell phone died, so I had to wait to come home to call her back. She called me back first. In her usual rushed way, she told me that an artery had ruptured in his nose causing a massive nosebleed and he had to have surgery. She told me what hospital and what room and then cut me off. This information was delivered to me in 10 seconds or less and without a "How are you" or "I love you". When I hung up, I thought long and hard about it. And I decided not to call her back and not to call the hospital. Mom has cut me out of her life with no rhyme or reason. No fight, no incident, no explanation - just abandonment - and I'm standing by my decision to not try to hold on to her any longer. I've tried for a year and it just fucking hurts. If she's going to be gone then she's got to stay fucking gone. End of story.

And the same applies to my stepdad. He's been my dad since I was 4 years old. Since my mother left him last January, he cut me off too to deal with his own pain. My calls to him went unanswered. My cards sent to him went ignored. In 1 year, he's called me twice. Once when I lost the baby and once a few months ago when he was drunk. He too will have to stay gone.

In the end, we did nothing Saturday night. We started shopping and I bought some seriously cute shoes. EH was feeling worse and worse by the moment and finally he pitched a fit and we went home. Reminding him that I had suggested staying home and he had insisted on going out was to no avail.

And today I did 12 loads of laundry...

Posted by Red :: 10:23 PM :: | ---------------------------------------