Friday, October 07, 2005

Dream Girl

I appreciate all of your comments on the dream issues.

Basically, I have been having very vivid recurring dreams. They bother me quite a bit. They had stopped recently and when I had another Weds. night, I was extremely upset. And yes, I had another one last night. All told, I think I have had 9 in the past 2-3 weeks. They aren't scary dreams. Essentially, the problem is that they are dreams about me being "unfaithful". They're not about sex, in fact there is no sex in the dreams at all. The dreams seem to strictly center around affection. But it bothers me greatly that it's not EH. It makes me feel unfaithful and angry with myself. It makes me feel badly. It also bothers me that the dreams are recurring so frequently.

I did look them up in dream dictionary. One interpretation said "To dream that you commit adultery or have an affair, is an expression of sexual urges or self-betrayal from your subconscious. It also indicates that you will be entangled in a situation that is not in your best interest, perhaps even illegal." another said "To dream that you are cheating on your spouse, mate, or significant other, suggests feelings of self-guilt and self-betrayal. You may have compromised your beliefs or integrity and/or wasting your energy and time on fruitless endeavors. Alternatively, it reflects the intensity of your sexual passion and exploring areas of your sexuality. It is a reaffirmation of your commitment." And the last said, "To dream that you are showing your affections for someone, suggests your contentment and happiness with a current relationship. It may also indicate your need to be more affectionate to the ones you love and care about."

Essentially, I can see how the meanings are far more innocent. But still, the dreams upset me. They make me feel like I am somehow bad. Naturally I can't discuss the dreams because I don't want to "confess" them to EH, but maybe getting it out of my system now, here where it's open (even to EH) will relieve the problem? I hope so. I'm tired of feeling secretive and "icky" when I've done nothing wrong. And, if we can't control our subconscious how can I still feel so guilty?

Essentially, the dreams are mundane. Little dialogue, no sex, no drama. Just a sort of light romantic interaction. A bit like seeing a montage of scenes set to some upbeat, light-hearted love song. Weird, isn't it? I don't understand. I don't really know what it all means or how I am supposed to deal with it. I just know it bothers me a lot. When I woke Wednesday, I instantly was emotional and feeling "weepy".

Is there something wrong with me? This has never happened before...

Posted by Red :: 10:09 PM :: | ---------------------------------------