The Odd Wife

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Nip/Tuck Episode 3 Ramblings

Tell me what you don't like about yourself...

So, um...Matt's not looking so good. Or smelling so good. I guess going all Danny Bonnaduce on a tranny wasn't his wisest mood. And Christian's coming over all fatherly. Harsh. Yikes. Ohhh, nose job. This is going to be gross... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Uuuugh. Gross. No nose job for me. Shit!

(theme song: Damn, that hand still makes me jump...)

And...on a sunnier day! Christian's looking pretty hot. Yum. Who's the ass-kissing little boy? Frat boy? What the fuck??? Um...cheek to cheek? Oh, you crazy frat boys...children, have we learned anything here? Do not glue your cheek to another man's ass. And that is one hairy ass... EH points out that this would be a procedure where the brown scrubs would make sense. Bottoms up... LOL.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Oh damn, that was bad.

Ahhh, sexy shrink girl. Matt, meet your new temporary mommy? If Matt liked women, he'd be all into her. Hmmm, she's bright, isn't she? You think Sean is wondering if her little Mattie got his ass whipped by girls? I don't like her, but she is pretty, isn't she? ...aaaand the truth comes out. Sort of. They weren't cheerleaders! They were men! Men dressed like cheerleaders! Sort of...

(We'll be back after this Commercial)

Military school? Damned good idea. Send that screwed up brat away. Christian's off base here. LOL, line of the show: Oh, wise up Christian! "Our laisez-faire attitude and coddling led to him getting pissed on by a bunch of transexuals." Yep. A worry for every parent.

I still don't like this schmucky new partner. Do you think he could be the Carver? Does he check out Christian's ass? Hmmm. Um. Partying with college girls? Yeah, smart.

Nice date. Ahahahah, Kimber's got some spunk with her new friend, doesn't she? Isn't Christian the little houseboy? Orrrr not. LOL

Ew. Creepy new partner getting grabby with the little girls. And the hard partying begins. And Amber's easy. Geez. And proud of it, huh? I can't help but wonder how many guys are watching this and deciding to become plastic surgeons. And down goes Amber in the requisite episode blow job. Eww.....voyeur creepy doctor. Yikes! Scary staring. Bad, bad, bad. Between you and me, I think he's the Carver.

Cut to the Father/Son moment. Christian's being an idiot. Here, my little fucked up boy - have a supply of drugs. All better. How can someone so damned sexy be such a moron. Oh, Matt. Just come out of the closet. Whoooops! Dad fucked your post-op and let it slip! Ahahahah. Are those pills going to do anything more than help Matt commit suicide slowly?

Julia snooping? And whimpering? How obvious. I can almost here the song "Memories". Do you think Julia realizes he smells like a frat house mixer? Cheap keg beer and Amber's slut perfume? Are they fucking on Matt's bed? Isn't that kid fucked up enough?

(Commercial break)

Well, of course Matt was going to come home and find Dad doing Mom in his bed. And the meds didn't go over well, did they? I love Julia's line, "This isn't what it looks like". Um...what was it?

Stuck on You. Do you think Lionel ever fathomed his song being used in this situation? That's still not a pretty ass, is it? Yuck. Did Christian seem more jealous over Quentin going out with Sean then anything else? Is Op Room talk really on par with Locker Room talk? Yes, Christian, you're still king. Blah, blah, blah.

So, dinner for four. A very aggressive Kit. Christian isn't liking this. Kimber's a puppet. Almost literally with all the hands shoved up her. Even numbers - what could possibly go wrong with this???

Someone's been in the booze. Family meeting time.

And, sex time. Focus, Christian! Aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!! LOL! Quentin made his move, didn't he? Ahahahahahah! Feeling used, Christian? Okay - who's still in the mood? Hey! All that teaching Kimber to stick up for herself seems to have worked, didn't it? See ya, Kit. She'll be trouble in the future, won't she? I just can't stomach the Christian/Kimber match. I suppose they're perfect for each other though. Betcha Kit and Quentin team up.

Ah, the show moral is revealed. Three's don't work. As Quentin is about to see. Yeah, he's a schmuck.

Family dinner meeting time! Are these parental figures really confused here? Is it a major wonder that Matt is in this condition? Whoa. Scuffle! Sure, let's add child abuse to the mix. Nice shot, though, Sean.


And next week, the complete mind-fuck of Matt goes on. Another Carver victim. Christian deals with pain. Lots of sick just can't help watching, can you?

Posted by Red :: 10:01 PM :: |
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