The Odd Wife

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Nip/Tuck Episode 2 Ramblings

"Tell me what you don't like about yourself..."

Previously, on Nip/Tuck: Sean and Julia had marital strife and Christian fucked every woman over the age of 18.

Dr. Forsythe wants plastic surgery for her gorilla, KiKi. Of course! Because Kiki wants to mate with a gorilla she met on some ape dating video and is worried about a scar. I'm not making this up. Gorilla's are so shallow. Ew.

Okay, introduction song. That hand moving to the pulse still freaks me out. What is that???

Sex scene, of course... Matt and Ava??? I'm betting on a dream. But still...ew. And, Ava being a man is just that much funnier... Yep. Dream. Better change those sheets, Matt... Ew.

What's with this kid, Matt...he's looking more like Michael Jackson every episode. Oh, ew....he found Ava's son (what was his name?). Maggots. Ew.

New doctor Quentin befriending the office lesbian. Liz isn't thrilled about the gorilla-discrimination. Oh, poor Christian cut his finger...I'd be happy to nurse him back to health...but wait - what is this blood brother shit Quentin is spouting? Is this really how we bond at work now? Let's all self mutilate? Ew.

Mmmm. Quentin is challenging the Cuban guy. Let's hear his sob story. Whine, whine, whine. Boo-freaking-hoo. I have more sympathy for the scarred horny gorilla. Ew.

Interruption! Julia is calling from the police station. Adrian (THAT'S his name!) is dead. And Matt still looks like a freak. EH is pointing out that it's bad for a plastic surgeon to have a son who is beginnning to resemble Michael Jackson. Ew.

Whoa....Matt was at the house looking for an extra ticket to go be with Ava? Can't stay away from her, I mean him??? Ew.

Ohhhhhh, hell. Sean has to discuss Ava and....vaginal reconstruction? Matt didn't know about Ava? I forgot about that! I thought he knew!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!! Okay, THAT was funny! Ew.

[Even Husband takes over the stenography. Expect wise-ass comments]

>That ad mentioned "Penguin Buffs". Watching this episode made me think they were referring to some kind of animal procedure.

>Matt finds out his girlfriend is a re-tread male so he hits a full quart of Pinot Noir. I think the occasion calls for something like Night Train, but I'm old school like that.

>They're at the zoo. That one lion could use a chin job.

>OK, I missed the book..."Chesty Organ" was it? The mom looks shocked, but if you ask me the images looked like normal women--which is something I think she'd be happy about.

>Oh holy hot damn--a promo for the upcoming hockey season. Too great to have that coming

>Gramma walks in as the dysfunctional tyke is hitting the bong. Who at all is shocked that she starts "sparkin' the owl" along with him? This family makes the Kennedys look like the Teletubbies.

> Now Gram is talking about anal stimulation. That would have sent me into a bong.

>This kid can't win--he only attracts the trannys. The only women hitting on him in this bar are as feminine as a carborator.

>"I don't want a girl with a dick!" No, he prefers men without them--HUGE difference.

>Here we go--Matt goes around the bend...But how???

>All right, he loses the mullet. Drastic. Now do we call him G.I. Jane?

>They can NOT make jump cuts to a scene of them vacuming an ass like that!

Posted by Red :: 9:58 PM :: |
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