The Odd Wife

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Has anyone seen...?

A tall guy, balding in the back of his head, roughly unshaven look. He's a heavyset guy with a perpetually reddish face. Reminds you of a giant teddy bear?

We lost him last night. I'm getting a bit worried about him.

Dgirl didn't make it, but EH, myself and Gman headed out. We settled into Tarpon Bend with cocktails and soon the live music started. We had intended to leave and walk over to The Poorhouse, but the band was hot and we stayed. Great song sets - lots of 80s hits that had us cheering and dancing.

An annoyingly perky and endlessly talkative girl to me left was the culprit. Overweight, bubbly beyond reason, dark hair, possibly asian or hispanic background in her genes. She was in town from Dallas (never trust those Texans) for a convention and took to me like we were BEST friends. At first it was fun, then it got irritating because I couldn't shake her. Finally, she made her move on Gman. She is a masseuse who owns a massage company and offered him a massage. He swore it would be nothing more and when she was in the restroom told us he was going to hate us for the rest of our lives. Apparently he couldn't say no or shake her either.

Anyway, he made me write down all my phone #'s and my address. His car is parked in my driveway. I offered to come pick him up. He begged me to do just that. Said he'd call.

He's been gone since 12:30. I'm calling his cell and getting no answer. I lost a Gman.

Besides the Missing Persons report I may have to file and the possible abduction, we had fun. We danced and sang and yes, the night culminated in hot sex. EH and I talked a bit at the bar about the sex life thing and his perception is that I'm wrong and our sex life is fine. I would disagree. The bottom line is that I love him, so whatever it is, it is...and I'll have to find a way to work with it.

And, if you happen to spot Gman - please leave a comment below. Don't even suggest that he's happy and in love because Gman is incapable of happiness and I can assure you he's NOT in love. He is, however, my darling Gman and I would like him back immediately.

UPDATE: Around 10 am, G-man was spotted by an alert EH doing the walk-of-shame up our driveway. His hopes of escaping unnoticed were dashed as I flew out the door to scold him. And to point out that I had written "Gman Did Dallas" all over his windshield in lipstick surrounded by kiss prints (and had thoughtfully left behind a trial sized package of glass cleaning wipes for him).

It seems love did bloom in the night. The fleeting, don't call me-I'll call you, let's pretend this never happened sort of love. I refused to be sworn to secrecy (I can't wait to tell PlayBoy) but I did promise that in the retelling I would make the girl super hot.

Posted by Red :: 9:16 AM :: |
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