The Odd Wife

Sunday, August 14, 2005

The Wedding and Human Baggage

As unbelievable as it sounds, the wedding came off smoothly last far as I know!

The bride was radiant in a gold beaded gown and her hair pulled back in a thick mass of ringlets swept back from her face. I spent a good hour on her hair.

And yes, the cake made it there incident free (rather remarkable for me, don't you think?)

The ceremony hit exactly at sunset with the ocean behind us. Despite threats of thunderstorms, the weather was beautiful.

SG became a bridesmaid at the very last minute and was shoved into her first "grown-up" dress. There was a tense moment when she prpared to walk down the "aisle" in a cocktail gown and sneakers when EH showed in the nick of time with her forgotten dress shoes.

The bride and groom sobbed openly as they were pronounced man and wife. The onlookers exchanged bets on how long it would last. I kept my eyes on EH at the back of the deck, silently renewing my own vows to him. And SG had a moment of panic during the communion portion of the ceremony when the chalice of wine was offered to the bride and groom and SG loudly whispered fearfully, "We have to drink blood????"

For me, the best moment of the evening was at the reception. Sitting with a few co-worker/pals and one remarked to EH and I that we were the only couple he knew that could make him want a marriage. He said the bond between us was just so evident. EH and I have heard this many, many times and it never fails to touch me. I beamed the rest of the night at the compliment. We left fairly early, as SG was falling asleep on her feet and I worried because when we tried to pay our bar tab, they insisted it was all on a "main tab" and as far as I know, no one knew who was paying this tab. I kept wondering if my cell phone would ring with a panicked bride and groom trying to come up with several hundred dollars.

EH and I are already enjoying our "stay home Sunday" together and puttering about the house with laundry and tidying up what we can. My cell phone has been blissfully silent, a rarity lately! I did bring home 6 files to review, but I plan to do it later today while relaxing.

And, hey...forget Roe v. Wade, Democrats v. Republicans and religion. You want to really start a heated discussion, try debating SAHM v. Career Moms...holy hell did this touch off a chain reaction of ranting.

The original blogger who took issue with my comment provoked a defensive post from me defending my opinion. I wasn't angry with the blogger, or even really insulted (except for the "full of shit" comment which I didn't really like) but I did feel that I needed to respond. I don't expect to be agreed with. But I also didn't expect it to digress into a battle of who has a harder life in comment land. Whew.

You know what made the biggest impression on me? The original blogger, Square1, posted an (unnecessary) apology after my post. While greatly appreciated, she had no need to be sorry. We just see things differently. Nonetheless, that's one classy blogger, in my opinion.

Issues like these are near and dear to people's hearts and souls and can easily provoke heated responses. Hot buttons have been pressed in many of us, most of us bloggers who have always co-existed rather nicely.

I'm going to offer up my own apology. I still feel strongly about my opinion and I continue to understand that opinions will differ radically among us. I'm sorry for anyone who is offended. I don't think the "walk a mile in someone else's shoes" is a fair analogy because it's not realistic.

Instead, it's more interesting to learn how different our lives are.

I never got to share this, but Thursday at the office was a fascinating example of this. Crazy Boss and I had been talking late Wednesday night and feeling down about the tensions and bitchiness in the office. There was a string of rumours, backbiting, bitchiness and so on that had come to our attention. I thought about it all night long and walked into work intending to tell CB that she needed to take charge of the staff and address it. Imagine my surprise to find her sitting at the front door of the office on a stool. As I started to talk to her, she wholeheartedly agreed and we sat out there and refused to let anyone enter until the air had been cleared. We had a group standing out there being confronted (nicely), calmed, appreciated and opened up. Within 30 minutes, everyone was crying and hugging and sharing their souls. One co-worker bemoaned her finances and CB asked her to think of all she was blessed with...a home, 2 children, a loving husband...and another co-worker (a sweet, quiet woman) broke in tearfully and reminded her to realize how many people didn't even have THAT as she struggled to cope with THREE children and no husband and no home. Another co-worker has cancer. Another has legal issues. It goes on and on...who knew that while we all put on the false smiles and cheery office facades, that every person was a human carrying their own bags of worry and pain?

The point is, no two lives are alike. We all have hurts, tragedies and pain that we carry. Just because someone doesn't share every secret doesn't mean they don't hurt too. We don't always have to agree, but the world would be a damned nicer place if we could all respect the difference of opinions and appreciate each other. I know I'm going to make more of an effort towards it.

Posted by Red :: 1:21 PM :: |
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