Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Ohhhhh, Bloggies

I'm sucking lately. Not in that extra-special good way that you know I like so much, but rather in all other areas.

My energy levels are depleted. I am just exhausted at all hours and finding insomnia becoming an issue. I'm walking about with a blank, empty expression that leads my friends and co-workers to wonder if I'm okay.

I am. Just tired.

Sleep has not come easily. I think that I am okay as long as I fall asleep before EH. If he falls asleep first, my body screams You're ALONE! Get UP! With a commute together, a job 4 feet from one another and every evening together, I find myself sitting up alone at night just for that feeling of solace...which is weird, because I love EH soooo much. It's more of a physical reaction.

I have a case of the blahs. I can't place my finger on it, but I have a few ideas.

August is a month painful to remember. Last August, I lost our baby. My water broke unexpectedly and he couldn't survive at 19 weeks. He was delivered deceased on August 28th at 6:50 am. Maybe that's a part of it?

Who knows...I just feel "off" today. PMS? Missing carbohydrates? Over-worked? Under-fucked?

*sigh*

It'll pass. I just need a little fun.

Posted by Red :: 8:00 PM :: | ---------------------------------------