The Odd Wife

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

An Elephant Medley of the Odd Variety

I was sitting here feeling uninspired to post.  Work has been a major focal point and I was out of fresh ideas for a blog post.

But a comment on another site put my wheels in motion.

I’m a romantic at heart.  I grew up reading stories of princes slaying dragons for beautiful maidens, of love conquering all and of happily ever after.  And I believed.

Although my marriage is blissfully stable now, for a moment it wasn’t.  And we are surrounded by married couples of varying degrees of unhappiness.  All this has led me to understand my position on “Til Death Do Us Part”.

I am totally and completely opposed to a married couple staying together only for the children.

As a child of divorce, I was thankful everyday that my parents split up.  My dad was a great “weekend dad” but was a difficult and angry man.  I always knew a full-time life with him would have impacted who I am in horrible ways.  Despite the fact that my mother is now twice divorced, as a child I grew up in a home with a mother and stepfather who were in love.  They slow-danced in the living room while I rolled my eyes.  They kissed.  There were flowers, candles and a sense of intimacy between them.  I grew up knowing love.

I understand that I am fundamentally selfish in some ways.  I don’t mean to be, but it’s ingrained in my personality.  I would never stay married simply for my child.

I think children are much more perceptive than we give them credit for.  They sense feelings and emotions around them.  Mom and Dad being “just friends” is still pretty obvious to a child.  They learn that this is “normal” and don’t aspire to anything greater for themselves.

Beyond that, I disagree with sentencing yourself to a lifetime without love.   Think about what love feels like and how it affects your moods.  It makes your step lighter, your smile brighter.  It puts a song in your heart.  It inspires you.  It moves you.  Without it, there’s just emptiness and I can’t imagine functioning as a happy person.  What would be the point?  Could I really be as good a mother if I felt hollow inside?

I’m a believer.  I believe love is out there and that everyone deserves it.  I believe in not settling for less.

Love has inspired adventures.  It is that which has moved painters to paint masterpieces, songwriters to compose lyrics guaranteed to quicken your pulse and poets to compose sonnets that have stirred the souls for hundreds of years.

I’m fortunate that we saw our troubles through and emerged even stronger as a couple.  My husband is a huge part of that which inspires me.  I work so hard with hopes of owning a home together, traveling together.  I get through Monday to Friday with the wish that the coming weekend will bring us a moment to share together and renew my spirit.  I strive to be a better person to keep this man that I love so much close to my heart.

“Love is like oxygen, love lifts us up, all you need is love…”

A life without it…?  I think not.  Not for me, anyway.  

Posted by Red :: 11:03 PM :: |
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