The Odd Wife

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The 2 Year Old in Me

It's easy to spot when I am sick. I turn into a two year old. Every word I utter comes out with that babyish pout and I get grumpy. I don't talk like a baby per se, but I get very pouty and don't like anything.

So, I guess you see what I see. I'm sick.

I should have known by my work today. Right before a good sick comes on, I get very focused. Then I get sort of grumpy. Then I sleep. Then I'm sick.

I don't know what hasn't manifested itself. I have a sore throat, on the left side only. I have no cough. No sniffle. I have a low fever. I'm cranky. I'm not at all hungry, yet I want soup.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

I have to fill out my self-review for my year review tonight. My review is Thursday. It's seriously going to suck. And me filling this out while cranky and sick is a bad, bad, bad idea.

Let's review Funny Things to Do at My Review (originally posted in October 2004 at my 90 day review)

I'm having lunch with 2 of my bosses next Wednesday to discuss my 90 day review. I've been coming up with entertaining ways to cope with the stress.

1. Immediately after sitting, line my blood pressure medications up in front of my plate, take several deep breaths and say "Okay, GO!" (Randomly pop pills as they speak).

2. Attempt to slice wrists open with the butter knife upon hearing criticism

3. When any criticism is heard, slap closed fist to my forehead repeatedly muttering "Stupid, Christine! Stupid, stupid!"

4. Cry

5. Order insanely alcoholic beverages ("Iced tea", "iced tea", "double bourbon on the rocks - and keep 'em coming!")

6. Respond to every comment with "I know you are, but what am I?"

7. Help myself to food from their plates.

8. Demand a new title that incorporates the phrase "Her Royal Highness"

9. When we disagree on anything, suggest we could resolve it by arm wrestling and shove the plates aside to make room. When they refuse, make "chicken" noises at them.

10. Blame my mistakes on them. ("No, it's your fault I was late Tuesday morning!")

And now I am going to go lie down and whine, pout, sulk and suffer...and drive poor EH insane with my sickishness.

Hey...what if I caught the meningitis?

Posted by Red :: 9:02 PM :: |
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