Wednesday, March 01, 2006

The Odd Wife: Now with more drama!

Today's post is brought to you by the number two (for twice the drama) and the letter "o" (as in "Oh shit").

First: STBX is not the happiest person walking the streets today. It honstly seems like she is coming completely unglued. She and PC spoke briefly last night when he called to talk to his boys and she screamed names, insults, accusations and some pretty ugly threats including bodily harm at him. They discussed only briefly the emails she read from his past and it seemed strange that her accusations went far beyond the actual bad deeds he committed. She made some ugly remarks about me and told him she is hiring a private investigator and suing PC for divorce.

Now, no one wants a divorce more than PC, so why she feels she has to sue is beyond me. She's actually already uncovered everything he was guilty of so the investigator is another waste of money. He engaged in a lot of erotic emails with women during the final year of their marriage and he had a few affairs. That's awful enough for any woman to learn. PC is sorry that she found out because he didn't want to hurt her, but at the same time a very old and heavy weight has been lifted off of him. For the first time, he has everything in the open.

For all of her anger, STBX is a person I feel sorry for. I don't wish anything bad for her. I was explaining that to PC. It's not that I like her (I don't care for her & how she has treated people) but because of her position in PC and his children's lives, I do respect her. I want good things for her. I want her to be happy. I want her life to be easy.

Now, having said that, I'm not going to be a fucking doormat. Her nasty little comments are fine, because they don't hurt me and I am sure she's entitled to feel that way. But I'm not about to sit back and let this bitter woman disrupt my life. The drama with the bullshit emails and the lies and her threats is growing old. I will not provoke or antagonize, but damnit I will defend myself and stand my ground. The things she is furious over had nothing to do with me and occurred long before me. She now knows I didn't steal her husband (and can see how many dozens of women tried!) but now she blames me for being with him after what he did to her.

Screw that.

His "misdeeds" were before me. He was unhappy, trapped and lost. He's not the same person he was then. Why on earth would I punish him for having a past?

Second: Okay, this one is harder...today is a tough day for me. Ten years ago today, EH and I walked down the aisle. Today is our 10 year Wedding Anniversary. We had planned to spend it in Vegas renewing our vows.

Today is a hard day for us both.

I love EH. I always will. He loves me. I think he always will. I wish it could have worked for us differently, but fate had other ideas. Maybe it's his fault for the affair. Maybe it's mine for never being able to get past it. Maybe it's both/neither. Either way, it didn't work. And we did try.

For today, just a part of me will mourn what we lost. 10 years was a landmark I would very much have liked to have shared.

Please do not read into this as taking anything away from PC. It doesn't. PC and I have a relationship completely different from what I shared with EH, but no less special. I was very happy with EH and I am very happy now with PC. The only difference is that I can be happy and still have needs met: goals, ambitions, planning for the future. It feels like a grown-up relationship whereas EH and I were always a couple of crazy kids in love.

Will that suffice for drama today?

Posted by Red :: 10:08 AM :: | ---------------------------------------