Monday, March 13, 2006

Career Counseling

I think it's time to tell you about my job.

The most fascinating thing I can actually tell you about my job is that they pay me a very nice salary to do nothing. And I mean nothing.

I dress up. I show up. I sit.

I surf the web. I occasionally fax something. I grab a stack of mail from the mailroom.

I sit.

I sometimes go pick up lunch for my boss. When my boss is in town. Which is not often.

I occasionally hang maps on the wall.

And once those 8 minutes are up, I sit.

I don't get it either. It was cool for the first few weeks, but I just have to admit to growing bored. Did you know there's only so much internet to surf before you are bored?

I miss being challenged. I miss coming home with a sense of accomplishment. I miss being something other than a highly paid seat warmer. And did you even know that boredom of this magnitude is exhausting? I come home tired as hell because doing "nothing" is exhausting.

Unless you're managment or a specialized career that requires a college degree, there's a decent chance I'm outearning you. This is a major company and a prestigious position. But, don't waste a second on envy because boredom of this magnitude is deserving of the salary I bring home.

Thus, I can hold onto one accomplishment. I am paid well to be very, very bored.

And I'm worth every penny.

Posted by Red :: 2:49 PM :: | ---------------------------------------