Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Bitch and Moan

Bitch and moan. That's about the extent of what I have to offer for a post, so let's just sum it up, shall we?

Ouch.

My back is killing me. I'm so frustrated. It hurts to sit which is making work=hell, when I get home I am in enough pain that all I can really do is lie down, leaving EH to scramble to cook, clean, etc and he's beginning to look a bit annoyed (even if he swears that he's not).

I see Dr. Wald tonight for another chiropractic cracking. Part of me wishes he could just SNAP me in one forceful motion and make it all better.

I see Dr. Rubin tomorrow for another heart-to-heart chat about my heart problems. I think this may be my last visit to Dr. Rubin. He's not impressing me with his tactics...we're not doing much testing or treatment. He just yells a lot.

Inner thoughts of the day? I'm annoyed with myself. I have entertained far too many thoughts about the weirdness of this sudden new connection to my Ex.

Ex was wonderful. He was everything a girl should/could want. I treated him like shit the last few years of our relationship. I was a mixed up spoiled brat. And I fell head over heels in love with EH. It wasn't Ex's fault. Ex didn't deserve any of it. But I would still stand by my decision. No matter how wonderful Ex was - EH is without a doubt my true soulmate. That is something never questioned or doubted. My love for EH surpasses anything I had ever felt before...even to this day.

And Ex has moved on to much better things. Shortly after I left Ex, he began dating Miss Peru. Today he is married to a woman who I've heard is "hot". I truly do hope they're happy because he deserves every bit of it.

I admit to thoughts like "What if I run into them?", "What if Dr. Wald mentions me (he will, I'm sure)?"

The bottom line should be "Who cares?" but I do. I want there to be no awkwardness or worries for anyone. EH and Ex's new wife should be completely secure in knowing that they are the true loves of our life. Assuming Ex and I are in the same happy lives, our past isn't anything more than childhood memories for the most part (until something like this stirs them up). Ex and I parted well, surprisingly, but we could never be friends today or anything of that nature...and there's no reason to be. I do truly wish all the best for him and his family. Everyone has moved forward in the past 10 years and that's how it should stay.

I'd love to know how his family has been and what everyone has done with the last 10 years, but it's with the same interest you feel at a high school reunion. Who got married? Who had kids? Who got divorced? Who moved away? Who got great jobs?

Moving on...

My best friend is wearing a smile today that lights up the entire room and reminds me of how much I love her. I know the secret to her smile, she's got plans, secrets and ideas. She's at her very best right now.

EH needs a break. Anyone out there want to come take care of The Odd Wife for a week or two? I'm a giant pain in the ass when I'm hurt or sick. In addition to care, I also require attention. Only those with the patience of saints should even think about applying.

XOXOXO Bloggies.

Posted by Red :: 1:28 PM :: | ---------------------------------------