Thursday, February 24, 2005

Your sperm is a gift, gentlemen...

You must read this article.

CHICAGO -- An appeals court said a man can press a claim for emotional distress after learning a former lover had used his sperm to have a baby. But he can't claim theft, the ruling said, because the sperm were hers to keep.

The ruling Wednesday by the Illinois Appellate Court sends Dr. Richard O. Phillips' distress case back to trial court. Phillips accuses Dr. Sharon Irons of a ``calculated, profound personal betrayal'' after their affair six years ago, saying she secretly kept semen after they had oral sex, then used it to get pregnant.

Okay, first of all....ew! I have this vision of her running to the bathroom to get it from her mouth into...well, you get the picture. How desperate can you get?

Phillips was ordered to pay about $800 a month in child support, said Irons' attorney, Enrico Mirabelli.

I'm not entirely sure I agree with that.

The judges backed the lower court decision to dismiss the fraud and theft claims, agreeing with Irons that she didn't steal the sperm.

``She asserts that when plaintiff 'delivered' his sperm, it was a gift _ an absolute and irrevocable transfer of title to property from a donor to a donee,'' the decision said. ``There was no agreement that the original deposit would be returned upon request.''

Have you stopped laughing yet? Read it again...his delivery of the sperm was a 'transfer of title to property' with no 'agreement that the original deposit would be returned upon request'.

So...guys. Want to make sure you don't reproduce? It's not enough to avoid ejaculating in the woman's unprotected orifice - be sure to ask for your sperm back. Perhaps ask for a receipt.

The sad thing is, there is a child involved. A child whose mother used bizarre and tasteless means to conceive her and a father who is emotionally scarred by his/her birth.

It just pisses me off how many unwanted children are in this world. In my area, 3 newborns have been abandoned safely within hours of their births. And I fail that damned pregnancy test month after month.

Posted by Red :: 4:13 PM :: | ---------------------------------------