The Odd Wife

Friday, February 18, 2005

Snarky is as Snarky Does

001I have a wicked temper. It's not a secret or something I am proud of. It's something I just accept. Yes, I try to curb it but a good part of the problem is that I'm an intense person and thus, my feelings are intense as well. So anger is not just anger, but rather a blinding, scorching, murderous rage. And love is not just love, but rather a dreamy, romantic, swept-away, starry-eyed, smitten obsession.

It's not just me. I know another person who has these same tendencies. He's a good friend of ours. It's funny to see him behave in a way that baffles others and I understand it so simply.

There was an interesting parallel this morning.

Now, first - my side...

I was a little grouchy late last night. PMS is ripe in me and for the third night in a row, EH and I couldn't really enjoy one another...things just come up sometimes. Flea baths for our dog that push me out of the shower, fatigue, obligations, etc. So, when EH chose to shower with the dog for a second night in a row, I was a little snarky-ish. I didn't really say anything, I just felt the grouchiness rise. In EH's defense, our poor labrador has recently acquired fleas and they are a major problem. EH is fighting a flea-war. It wasn't personal. But nonetheless, I felt slighted. Passed over just days before I'll start my cycle and be much less interested in sex...and when he returned from his hour-shower, I was asleep (exhausted!). So...when he tried to cuddle, I ignored him. Familiar feeling...grouchy that I'd been left wanting. Irritable. And for the first time, I took control. I had a stern inner dialogue with myself and straightened my ass out and cuddled right back to my EH. All better.

Now, friend's side -

Wife has been working 'round the clock. Work, kids, work, kids. Valentine's Day was a bust because she was exhausted to the point of collapsing from working through the night on a computer system. It was okay for a few days, but this morning he got "bitchy" with her. And as she explained his snarkiness, I got it. He was feeling just as I had, he just couldn't control it. He knows she's tired. He knows it's not personal. But when you feel pushed aside or overlooked, these feelings build up and eventually explode in a fit of temper. His wife (also a dear friend) is pissed off that she got the brunt of his bad behavior and not sure how to handle him. The truth is, there is nothing she can do. It's on him to curb his own snarkiness.

Snarkiness just begets snarkiness. If I had stayed snarky with EH, what would I really accomplish? Nothing he says or does will make me feel better. It's up to me to put it into perspective and snap out of it.

I've shut off the option for Anonymous posting in my comments. I haven't been bothered by them before, but the Anonymous comment in yesterday's post was snarkiness at it's best. It was less questioning my actions than it was just openly hostile. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to take it from there. If you're still not sharp enough to recognize the tone, there's always one of the three counters I use to check an IP address. Et Voila!

If you want to question me, my actions or my choices, that's wonderful. I encourage it. But this was less of a comment than an agenda.

Like I said, snarkiness begets snarkiness. But I'm not interested in playing today. I'm in a great mood and looking forward to racing home to spend a weekend laughing, playing, cuddling and living with my husband and daughter. I intend to have as much sex as I can without crippling myself or EH.

And that's that.

Posted by Red :: 10:22 AM :: |
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