The Odd Wife

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

What's your EQ?

So, we all know what an IQ test is, right?

Now there is an EQ test to measure your emotional quotient. So far, there's no single, well-validated paper-and-pencil test for emotional intelligence like an IQ test, but there are many situations in which the emotionally intelligent response is quantifiable. The following questions will give you a rough sense of what your EQ might be.

Answer honestly, on the basis of what you really would be most likely to do. Don't try to second-guess what seems right by using those old rules for psyching out multiple choice tests that helped you through school!



1. You're on an airplane that suddenly hits extremely bad turbulence and begins rocking from side to side. What do you do?

a. Continue to read your book or magazine, or watch the movie, paying little attention to the turbulence.
b. Become vigilant for an emergency, carefully monitoring the stewardesses and reading the emergency instructions card.
c. A little of both a and b.
d. Not sure -- never noticed.

2. You've taken a group of 4-year-olds to the park, and one of them starts crying because the others won't play with her. What do you do?

a. Stay out of it -- let the kids deal with it on their own.
b. Talk to her and help her figure out ways to get the other kids to play with her.
c. Tell her in a kind voice not to cry.
d. Try to distract the crying girl by showing her some other things she could play with.

3. Assume you're a college student who had hoped to get an A in a course, but you have just found out you got a C- on the midterm. What do you do?

a. Sketch out a specific plan for ways to improve your grade and resolve to follow through on your plans.
b. Resolve to do better in the future.
c. Tell yourself it really doesn't matter much how you do in the course, and concentrate instead on other classes where your grades are higher.
d. Go to see the professor and try to talk her into giving you a better grade.

4. Imagine you're an insurance salesman calling prospective clients. Fifteen people in a row have hung up on you, and you're getting discouraged. What do you do?

a. Call it a day and hope you have better luck tomorrow.
b. Assess qualities in yourself that may be undermining your ability to make a sale.
c. Try something new in the next call, and keep plugging away.
d. Consider another line of work.

5. You're a manager in an organization that is trying to encourage respect for racial and ethnic diversity. You overhear someone telling a racist joke. What do you do?

a. Ignore it -- it's only a joke.
b. Call the person into your office for a reprimand.
c. Speak up on the spot, saying that such jokes are inappropriate and will not be tolerated in your organization.
d. Suggest to the person telling the joke he go through a diversity training program.

6. You're trying to calm down a friend who has worked himself up into a fury at a driver in another car who has cut dangerously close in front of him. What do you do?

a. Tell him to forget it -- he's okay now and it's no big deal.
b. Put on one of his favorite tapes and try to distract him.
c. Join him in putting down the other driver, as a show of rapport.
d. Tell him about a time something like this happened to you and how you felt as mad as he does now, but then you saw the other driver was on the way to a hospital emergency room.

7. You and your life partner have gotten into an argument that has escalated into a shouting match; you're both upset and, in the heat of anger, making personal attacks you don't really mean. What's the best thing to do?

a. Take a 20-minute break and then continue the discussion.
b. Just stop the argument -- go silent, no matter what your partner says.
c. Say you're sorry and ask your partner to apologize, too.
d. Stop for a moment, collect your thoughts, then state your side of the case as precisely as you can.

8. You've been assigned to head a working team that is trying to come up with a creative solution to a nagging problem at work. What's the first thing you do?

a. Draw up an agenda and allot time for discussion of each item so you make best use of your time together.
b. Have people take the time to get to know each other better.
c. Begin by asking each person for ideas about how to solve the problem, while the ideas are fresh.
d. Start out with a brainstorming session, encouraging everyone to say whatever comes to mind, no matter how wild.

9. Your 3-year-old son is extremely timid, and has been hypersensitive about -- and a bit fearful of -- new places and people virtually since he was born. What do you do?

a. Accept that he has a shy temperament and think of ways to shelter him from situations that would upset him.
b. Take him to a child psychiatrist for help.
c. Purposely expose him to lots of new people and places so he can get over his fear.
d. Engineer an ongoing series of challenging but manageable experiences that will teach him he can handle new people and places.

10. For years you've been wanting to get back to learning to play a musical instrument you tried in childhood, and now, just for fun, you've finally gotten around to starting. You want to make the most effective use of your time. What do you do?

a. Hold yourself to a strict practice time each day.
b. Choose pieces that stretch your abilities a bit.
c. Practice only when you're really in the mood.
d. Pick pieces that are far beyond your ability, but that you can master with diligent effort.



200 -- Highest Score
100 -- Average
0 -- Best to try again another time



Knowing your feelings and using them to make life decisions you can live with.
Being able to manage your emotional life without being hijacked by it -- not being paralyzed by depression or worry, or swept away by anger.
Persisting in the face of setbacks and channeling your impulses in order to pursue your goals.
Empathy -- reading other people's emotions without their having to tell you what they are feeling.
Handling feelings in relationships with skill and harmony -- being able to articulate the unspoken pulse of a group, for example.



1. Anything but D -- that answer reflects a lack of awareness of your habitual responses under stress. A=20, B=20, C=20, D=0.

2. B is best. Emotionally intelligent parents use their children's moments of upsets as opportunities to act as emotional coaches, helping their children understand what made them upset, what they are feeling, and alternatives the child can try. A=0, B=20, C=0, D=0.

3. A. One mark of self-motivation is being able to formulate a plan for overcoming obstacles and frustrations and follow through on it. A=20, B=0, C=0, D=0.

4. C. Optimism, a mark of emotional intelligence, leads people to see setbacks as challenges they can learn from, and to persist, trying out new approaches rather than giving up, blaming themselves, or getting demoralized. A=0, B=0, C=20, D=0.

5. C. The most effective way to create an atmosphere that welcomes diversity is to make clear in public that the social norms of your organization do not tolerate such expressions. Instead of trying to change prejudices (a much harder task), keep people from acting on them. A=0, B=0, C=20, D=0.

6. D. Data on rage and how to calm it show the effectiveness of distracting the angry person from the focus of his rage, empathizing with his feelings and perspective, and suggesting a less anger-provoking way of seeing the situation. A=0, B=5, C=5, D=20.

7. A. Take a break of 20 minutes or more. It takes at least that long to clear the body of the physiological arousal of anger -- which distorts your perception and makes you more likely to launch damaging personal attacks. After cooling down you'll be more likely to have a fruitful discussion. A=20, B=0, C=0, D=0.

8. B. Creative groups work at their peak when rapport, harmony, and comfort levels are highest -- then people are freer to make their best contribution. A=0, B=20, C=0, D=0.

9. D. Children born with a timid temperament can often become more outgoing if their parents arrange an ongoing series of manageable challenges to their shyness. A=0, B=5, C=0, D=20.

10. B. By giving yourself moderate challenges, you are most likely to get into the state of flow, which is both pleasurable and where people learn and perform at their best. A=0, B=20, C=0, D=0.

...and for the record, my score SUCKED. LOL. Figures. Like we didn't know that, right?

What's your score?

Posted by Red :: 5:40 PM :: |
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