The Odd Wife

Monday, January 17, 2005

Odd Future National Holiday

The countdown is on!

7 days until my birthday! (Send jewelry. And chocolate. And pink things.)

I'm a big birthday person. No one can ever forget my birthday because I do everything but skywrite it. I announce it daily. On my birthday, I wear a tiara...everywhere I go.

Man pumping gas beside me at the Amoco: "Nice tiara"

Me: "Thanks! I'm a birthday princess today!"

Man pumping gas: "Happy Birthday!"

Works well. I inform my co-workers. One asked if I wanted to go to lunch on my birthday - well, of course! And I want everyone to come. And I want them all to wear party hats. And sing to me. The marketing girl in my office told me that they aren't buying monthly cakes for birthdays anymore because too many people are dieting. I told her I will bring my OWN damned cake...a carrot cake...and I will have them write "Happy Birthday Odd Wife - the very greatest employee we ever had" on it. And I will hide it in the kitchen. And I will act really surprised when I find it.

Those modest people always confuse me. They are super quiet and then suddenly they grumble that everyone forgot their birthday. That could NEVER happen to me.

I like my way better.

This year, I'm hoping for a parade.

Posted by Red :: 11:34 AM :: |
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