The Odd Wife

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Now, I'm only going to say this once

...and then I'm moving on.

The Why...

First of all, you guys are awesome. The emails have been so nice to receive. Even my darling chiropractor was wanting to know the "why".

So, let's get it ALL out, shall we?

Some of you may recall my post titled "The Other Woman Online" from June 4th in which I discuss the dynamics and challenges of the modern marriage.

Now, let me take you back...anyone who has read this blog for any period of time is aware that last year EH had a 'cyber affair' with a woman online, I found out about it and freaked out and subsequently helped cause the pre-term death of my unborn son that we had tried for so many years to conceive. I believe I have also mentioned that she is involved with yet another married man, this time a full-blown affair.

Now, this cowboy feels that I've had an unhealthy obsession with his mistress because many of my posts discuss the affair she had with my husband. What you do not know is that for many, many months he has openly threatened, harassed and stalked me. He found out where I worked and posted the information on his blog with repeated threats that ran the gamut from emailing the blog to my bosses to vague threats of harm to my general well-being if I did not "get the fuck over it" as he put it.

And, in such, this cowboy has become obsessed with me in a rather psychotic way. Ironic, isn't it?

Now, said cowboy hates that I refer to his dear mistress as "the Whore". I suppose he would prefer that I refer to her as Rhonda from, the Texas mother of 2, Mormon, teacher, yoga afficianado born in Honolulu...I could go on and on. "The Whore" has always been easier to say and much more appropriate (as the 47 photos she sent to my husband of her playing with herself would attest).

Cowboy apparently was annoyed by my June 4th post and decided to make good on his threats. He emailed the blog to the place I worked.

Cowboy isn't a very good reader. He apparently skipped all the posts about me resigning from said job. He emailed the blog 3 days after I resigned.

And...since he had threatened to do so for months, I had warned my employers (former) that I had a Texan stalker who knew where I worked and was interested in harassing me at work. They knew the whole saga of the affair and so on (we talked very warmly and openly at all times) and when said email came across - they didn't even waste a moment on it other than to tell me he had done so. Neither was remotely interested. It was comical. Rather, they were very sorry to see me resigning (for the better position I mentioned weeks ago) and repeatedly tried to negotiate ways for me to stay.

Last night was my "Last Day Party" filled with hugs and kisses and promises of an open door for me to return if I ever needed to.

Gee, was that NOT how you expected that to go, cowboy???

First of all, I have never hid who I am. The posts in this blog are a sort of diary for me and EH and while some of my most intimate thoughts are spilled here - I'm a VERY open person. There's very little here that would surprise anyone. My best friend might be annoyed to read about our arguments, but she wouldn't learn anything new about me here. I'm a smart girl - I know that with a little ingenuity, you can find anyone online. There's no such thing as privacy online, dear reader.

Most amusing was the recent nasty anonymous comment someone posted on Cowboy's blog. He assumed it was me, EH or a friend of ours and was sadly mistaken (although "anonymous bitch", I salute you!) and he posted more bitching about EH and I. I loved how he called her a weasel for being anonymous (after all the anonymous nasty comments he left on THIS blog) In one comment he responds to her threat of telling his wife with something about her hoping to cause him grief - "the same kind of grief you had recently, huh?" in vague admittable reference to his emailing the blog to my bosses. I'm pretty sure he admitted to stalking and harassing there...

Now, grief wasn't had. I had a party. I had hugs and damp eyes and pleading to keep in touch. And Monday, I start my new position as a manager with a $10,000 salary increase.

That must be pretty fucking disappointing, Cowboy. I can only imagine that is NOT what he had in mind.

But, wait...why am I calling him Cowboy when everything is out in the open now...? I mean, he freely refers to us by name (Brad and Christine) on his blog at, right?

So, now that his trump card was played (and fell flat) - I see no reason to worry about him anymore. He can bitch away on his blog and he damned sure won't be governing anything I write anymore.

Still, while I once desired nothing more than to see him and Rhonda suffer at least a fraction of the hell they both put me through - the truth is that I just don't give a rat's ass about either of them. My marriage is doing awesome (more posts about that later), my career is taking off, my life is stable and even my health is top notch after an unexpected turn of events there (more on that later too - but I'm perfectly healthy!). I have no interest in their sad drama anymore because I know how that story will play out.

You see, when you lie and cheat - it requires hundreds and hundreds of lies and risks. You're playing the odds, as I would expect our Cowboy daytrader to recognize. It's not a matter of IF he will be caught, it's a matter of WHEN. It requires no effort from me or anyone else. I don't quite understand his obsession with me, but he should probably see someone about it...who am I to him??? The wife of the married man his married (soon to be divorced) mistress used to be obsessed with?

I fully expect him to blow a fucking gasket over this post. I'm sure there will be wonderfully awful things posted on his blog about me, EH, and so on. He's made so many threats that I fully expect he will go ape-shit over this.

Here's the thing...he's not the only person who knows how to save a blog to disk. Screen shots are particulary helpful in authenticating. Should I have any cause to feel unsafe or threatened, I'm going to blow this thing WIDE open and go to the police, the attornies, the media - you name it. With the growing number of cyber-affairs being a topic of interest, I can totally sell this story of woe and drama.

If I get so much as an unexplained flat tire, I am going to start speaking VERY loudly to any and everyone who will listen with a concentrated interest in the Dallas area publications - with plenty of evidence of threats against me that makes the few bitchy comments I used to leave on Rhonda's blog look like pillow talk.

Bear in mind, I'm on the defense - not the offense. I don't care about these two because they have enough of their own problems and I'm happy in a world without them. But he's made good on at least one of his threats and I'm not taking chances.

I took the blog down to finish out my remaining time on my former job out of respect for a company that was good to me. I was never asked or forced to do so. My dearest friend asked me to do so and I did.

But I'm back and I'm going to continue to blog about my life here. The good and the bad.

I'd like to hope that the bad is now out of the way, because things lately have been so very, very good.

So...Cowboy. Rhonda has moved on. I have moved on. Shouldn't you???
It's still a part of our history and one I'm not going to bury or hide as I work out any and all issues I feel over it here. I'll go about my business and you should really stick to watching your own. You're walking a fine line and letting me distract you from your double life would surely not be a positive thing...I'll happily go back to referring to her as The Whore when necessary to discuss the events of last year at all. Otherwise, she can remain Rhonda from, the Texas mother of 2, Mormon, teacher, yoga afficianado born in Honolulu with photo captions to illustrate.

I'd prefer you just back off and we can all go back to hating each other from a distance and eventually forget about the whole thing as it fades out. After all, the only thing I've ever done is hated both of you from a distance. YOU have gone much further in this little situation than any of the rest of us. YOU have crossed the most serious of lines. YOU have brought this all back to the front and center. Your whore was an afterthought in my daily posts referenced anonymously and only when a central character to a discussion.

YOU can keep this web of pure hatred alive as long as you like.

Me, I have much more enjoyable ways to spend my time.

Posted by Red :: 4:38 PM :: |
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