The Odd Wife

Sunday, January 30, 2005



Saturday morning – while cleaning the house and listening to “Retro-Active” music on satellite.

Me, dreamily dusting to Peter Gabriel’s ‘In Your Eyes’: “I want to be loved like Peter Gabriel loves that girl in this song”

EH, without missing a beat: “He wrote it for a guy.”

Me: “Jerk”

Saturday morning

Plumber installing hot water heater, “This will only take about 30 minutes…real quick.”

EH and I exchange glances. We know better.

…moments later…

Plumber, plastered against the wall, pinned by 55 gallons of exploding water, sputtering and cursing.

Me: “Um, can I get you a towel?”

…3 hours later, after EH knocking the framing out of the storage area doorway and EH and the plumber sawing a hole in the wall to make the water heater fit…(it was one inch too wide)

Me: “Your first mistake was saying it would be quick. You don’t know us.”

Saturday evening – browsing a store’s scented bath and lotion products.

EH, inspecting a bottle of lotion: “You know that white chocolate martini body lotion that I’m going to rub all over you tonight? They have shower gel”

Me, staring into space: “I didn’t hear a word you said after ‘rub all over you tonight’.

Nearby shopper, overhearing: “Nice…!”

Saturday night – heading out to dinner, wearing my new black pants and funky striped black blouse.

EH, staring at my ass: “Your ass looks great in those pants”

Me, wiggling: “Should I shake it? Shake it ‘like a Polaroid picture’?”

SG, listening in: “Um. Shake it like it’s PG-13, Mom.”

Late Saturday night… (sounds of heavy breathing)

“Damn, I love you….”

Sunday morning, lying in bed, waking up

Me, nestling against EH: “I had this weird bad dream that we were leaving Disney World and you ran ahead of us to get the car and then we couldn’t find you.”

EH: “I would never leave you at Disney World.”

Me: “Where would you leave me?”

EH: “Well…Islands of Adventure, maybe…”

…moments later…

Me, pouting (in a joking fashion): “I’m really mad at you! You left me in my dream”

EH, rolling over: “I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you. I’ll go back to sleep and dream about buying you something nice.”

…several moments later…

(sounds of heavy breathing) “Damn you feel good…” "Touch yourself like this" "Mmmm, that's nice..."

..."I love you so much."

My weekend. Simply perfect!

Posted by Red :: 11:34 PM :: |
Weblog Commenting and Trackback by Free Counter
Web Site Counter Take the MIT Weblog Survey Weblog Commenting and Trackback by