Monday, November 15, 2004

Entering Waters Carefully

So after a fair amount of preamble my grand introduction to this blog occurs on the very day my bride has all the general charm of your garden variety ursine. Over all she is not actually as unstable as a truckload of nitroglycerine on a bad road--like she suggests--but still, there are those cherished moments. While neither of us is the most approachable in the a.m., combined with the arrival of "her monthly bill" (as my puritanical mother likes to refer to it) my betrothed has some peculiar reactions to otherwise mundane stimuli.

On the ride in to work this morning we hear an advertisement from a local entrepreneur who happens to be in the same field as my sparkling wife. Typical of any radio advert there were embellishments and promises made by the businessman, but nothing that would alert the attention of the FAA, or even the BBB. TOW however was sent into a state of pique. This cad had the audacity to proclaim that you could contact his office and he would provide a particular service at no charge. Well, it turns out that in this line of work the service mentioned is always done without a surcharge. From the passenger seat comes a barrage of outrage and vitriol and personal attacks. (How she was able to gauge that the guy was a pederast and paint fume huffer from a 30 second spot was impressive.) I attempted to explain that the guy technically did nothing wrong; he merely boasted at being able to do something some novice clients would not understand was industry wide practice. I compared it to a local bar bragging that all their cocktails came with free ice, something that might impress non-drinkers.

Nope, he is a lying sack of putrified guano.
Hey look! I found the Midol!!!

And A brief Follow Up--
re: Drinks to male members.
Madison Avenue is rife with examples of targeted sataryisis. There is a nationally popular wings restaurant chain with the single-entendre name of "Hooters", don't forget. But there has always been a desire to conjure up questionably named potables for a quick dollar. Currently in our area there is a new brand of beer being sold called Boody Lager, with the oh-so unforgettable tag line, "Grab a Boody!" But for the biggest dodge of decency laws you have to try out Dickens Cider. It's all in how you say it.

Posted by Anonymous :: 6:31 PM :: | ---------------------------------------