Thursday, December 09, 2004

Odd Things from Odd Wife

My spirits are slightly lifted. EH - poor guy - has been trying so hard to not worry me about the medication problems. He's been loving and concerned and gentle and kind. I really am very spoiled. No, there's still no sex, but truth be told, I am JUST as afraid to do it right now as he is unable. I still see his face, over me, the moment the seizure hit. One moment all sexy and suave and the next moment twisted into anguished pain while screaming. We'll both need some time, I guess. I'm still not happy about it and I'm still afraid, but I still have the best husband in the world.

I also have the best friend in the world. M and I work together and she negotiated a deal that will send some extra $$$ my way before Christmas. She completely spoils me too.

And, Grabby Man called me this morning to ask me to look something up on Yahoo Maps for him while he drove. This might sound weird, but you have to understand he was once my boss not so long ago and it's completely natural for him to do something like that. He also mentioned a deal that might mean I could go back to working at home (the way I did for 4 years - and LOVED) for about 3x what I earn now. I'd have to work it through him, but it could be the start of something huge. Like my own business again...

What...? I never mentioned I used to be Madame President of my own company? Well, I was. I insisted on the title "Madame" President and declared company uniform to include a tiara and a feather boa. I had a great deal of fun writing up company policies for my one-woman operation. Some of my policies included: "Always wear something pink on Mondays" and "Fridays hours are from 9 am til whenever the hell I feel like it". I kid, but the truth is, I worked my ass off usually 18 hours a day. In the end, a better deal came a long and I took it.

Whatever.

So how about those "Odd Things" I promised you in the post title?

Well...if it's in the interests of honest reporting, then why not?

Attention MALE BLOGGERS - if you are using a laptop to read this - get it off your lap right now!

I just have to wonder what moronic, alcoholic, monkey-licking brainiac thought this campaign up?

Funny. Well, hey - if the naughty people get coal for Christmas, then obviously the stupid people will receive brains, right?

This toast thing has gotten out of hand. Now it's spreading to other breakfast foods

Tag-team Opera?

Does the "Men are Pigs" saying come into play here?

Yet another reason to drink lots and lots of beer

Um...just what the hell do they teach at this school anyway?

Assholes

I love this man! (That is, assuming he had a really good reason.)

You know, this kind of story just pisses me off.

Attention men: Don't get any ideas...

Brilliant, and I mean brilliant police work.

I would strongly advise this child to run away from home.

Yeah. He's gay.

Ever wonder why the bride is blushing? She knows she's been very bad.

For the sexually deprived husbands of the world, there are 2 lessons to be learned from this story. 1) Men go for much longer without sex than you sometimes and 2) The authorities refuse to do anything about it.

And so, the married men began to flee India.

My mother-in-law is suddenly looking much better.

This one is dedicated to The Good Husband with love and hope from The Odd Wife.

And finally...something for the believers and hopers of the world. Sometimes movie-esque romance does exist...

Love to you too, from the Odd Wife. (Except you. Yeah you. You know who you are.)

Posted by Red :: 1:45 PM :: | ---------------------------------------