Friday, November 19, 2004

100 Odd Things About The Odd Wife

I've seen several people doing this on blogs and thought I would do one of my own.

A work in progress...

1. I'm addicted to things that smell pretty. Rug fresheners, sprays, foams, candles, plug-ins, potpourri, oils, bath gels, lotions, perfumes - you name it. If it smells pretty, I want to smell it strong.

2. I have a genius level IQ (as does TEH and our daughter)

3. My favorite drink is Malibu Rum & OJ. Yum....

4. I have a really high tolerance for alcohol.

5. Pink is my favorite color. I once dyed my hair neon pink...not in my wild teen years, but rather 2 years ago. It was something I always wanted to do and I worked from home, so I said "screw it!" and did it. It lasted a month and I loved it.

6. I have a pair of socks that make me giggle. They're knee socks with each toe separated (like glove fingers) and they are striped in purple, white, green and lavender and have little fuzzy sheep on the big toe of each foot. I sit and wear them and wiggle my toes and giggle.

7. I have two tattoos in places no one can see. A butterfly (as you might remember from my post on The Good Wife's ass) and a heart with TEH's name below it on my hip.

8. The heart and TEH's name tattoo was a kind of dare.

9. The butterfly tattoo represents the Elton John song "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" and the line "You're a butterfly...and butterflies are free to fly". For some reason, this is my "angry drunk" song. If I'm drinking and singing this...watch out!

10. My favorite shows are Nip/Tuck, Veronica Mars, ER, Will & Grace, Dead Like Me and Everybody Loves Raymond. I used to be addicted to Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

11. I am crazy about pear flavored Jelly Belly jelly beans.

12. I love vegetables. All vegetables except lima beans.

13. I love food. My favorite foods are subs (every major food group is covered!) and mexican food.

14. My "usual" sub is either roast beef or a Subway "Club" with mayo, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, jalapenos, banana peppers, salt & pepper and oil & vinegar.

15. I'm not a big desert lover.

16. There are popular foods that I don't really like...I do not like ice-cream, popcorn or potato chips. I'll eat them from time to time, but I wouldn't go out of my way to get them (except fried ice-cream)

17. I think I have ugly feet. My toes are short and stubby. TEH thinks my feet are "adorable".

18. I was raised as a pagan.

19. I am intrigued by all things supernatural...I once worked with a professional Ghost hunting team just to see what it was like.

20. I've had mysterious encounters, but nothing I could prove or swear by.

21. I can read the tarot cards with amazing accuracy. I don't do it often because it tires me out and I have no idea how I can do it...but I've been tested and proven time and time again to be right.

22. My favorite gemstone is a "Mystic Topaz"

23. I am a huge reader. My favorite authors are Stephen King, Andrew Vachss, Nora Roberts, Janet Evanovich, Dave Barry (Hi, Dave! Yes, I love you! But I will kick your ass at the next Hunt), Carl Hiaasen, Tim Dorsey and my unpublished husband.

24. I can quote movies like nobody's business.

25. It is impossible for me to have a favorite book, song or movie. I love hundreds of them!

26. I have a secret love for the HORRIBLE, CHEESY move called "The Pirate Movie" from the 70's - a musical comedy adaptation of Pirates of Penzance starring Christopher Atkins and Kristy McNichols. From time to time, I lock myself in the bedroom and watch it while singing along at the top of my lungs. TEH wants to kill me at those times.

27. I cry at parades. They make me so happy!

28. I wish I could be wealthy :)

29. I want to have another child soon. Maybe even 2 more. TEH would like 1 more, but he would shit if I suggested 2 more.

30. My 8 year old daughter scares the hell out of me. She's way too wise and adult-like for her age. She often withholds information from us that she thinks would make us sad. If something bothers her, she will try to keep it from showing. She also "fakes" healthy instead of faking sick.

31. We baby her too much...

32. I have a hugely fat cat named Sasha. She's a total bitch and I love her for it.

33. We also have a yellow labrador named Dutch. Dutch is the doggie love of our lives. He likes TEH the best.

34. I have never been in serious legal trouble. I did get busted for shoplifting as a kid but I didn't do it - I was just the idiot holding the bag who got caught.

35. If I found a million dollars hidden in the woods you would never hear from me or my family again. We'd be outta here.

36. I love to be artistic...

37. TEH is exactly 1 foot taller than me...and I'm 5'6! I love him taller, but it makes sex in the shower a major challenge.

38. I'm scared of snakes. And yet, I have a picture of myself holding a 16 foot reticulated python. Yes, I said 16 foot.

39. I don't always get British humor.

40. I think I'm funny. I'm not bragging, I just mean that I make myself laugh quite a bit. Often at my own expense.

41. I drink too much Pepsi.

42. You know those people who always look perfectly polished, styled and dressed? Yeah. That's not me. No matter how hard I try, the very best I can get is rumpled and frantic looking.

43. Chanel Egoiste Platinum men's cologne makes me instantly aroused. I'll actually attempt to eat it off a man. When EH wears it, I go insane, burying my nose against his chest (I can only reach his chest, so he sprays it there) and inhaling over and over.

44. I've been divorced.

45. I've been "the other woman". I was about 19 and ridiculously naive and I confessed to everything when it was truly necessary to protect the wife from her insane husband.

46. I've hated someone enough to do them serious harm.

47. I was a wild teenager.

48. I'm a control freak.

49. The sound of metal scraping drives me insane

50. I'm an Aquarius. EH is a Scorpio. SG is a Pisces.

51. I don't really like cake very much. I hate buttercreme frosting. My favorite cake is carrot cake with cream cheese frosting...yum.

52. I type about 75 wpm.

52. I am naturally brilliant when it comes to computers...I have no idea why. I can make them do things. I can figure them out. And I can find damned near anything - or anyone - on the internet. Scary, huh?

53. I hate beer.

54. I'm terrified of doctors.

55. I can not sleep if I am warm. I torture my poor EH and SG by keeping the a/c at about 74 degrees at night.

56. I often wish I could yell "Do over!" and start my life again...but I wouldn't really do it because I'd be afraid of missing out on EH or SG.

57. I have a decent tolerance for pain, but a headache or nausea will floor me.






(more to come)

Posted by Red :: 1:32 PM :: | ---------------------------------------