Friday, January 07, 2005

Sometimes it's Just Sushi

It was a dark sushi restaurant.

We were asked to choose from seating at the bar or the booth. He instead asked for the tiny private curtained room and we removed the first article of clothing - our shoes - to climb inside.

We sat on cushions, facing each other.

Our knees only inches from touching.

We laughed, we commisserated, we talked about deeply personal things...including sex.

The temptations were overwhelming. My mind was already in an odd place and I was feeling neglected. And here I was, in the perfect situation to take a little rebellion and break a vow.

I could say I tried to fight it, but it would be a lie. I wanted it. Readers, you know I wanted it. I knew what I was getting myself into the moment I decided to go to lunch with Grabby. I have only myself to blame. Grabby wasn't even remotely responsible for my cheating, although he allowed it to happen.

He knew I'd regret it, but he said nothing. He was more than willing to let me cast my vow aside and blatantly, openly, brazenly cheat.

Damn that Coke tasted good. Fucking carbs.

Did I cheat on EH? No. of course not.

Because this is how it is with Grabby Man. This is how it's been for years. Despite an occasional incident or two that could raise an eyebrow, the truth is that Grabby Man and I are very good friends and understand each other perfectly. For crying out loud, Grabby Man and I have traveled extensively together across the country alone. As far as him trying anything with me...I expect it from him and it's an understood part of our friendship. Hell, EH expects it from him. If I acquiesed, would he take me? Hell, yes. But that's not the point.

Grabby and I are both sex addicts and we know it. And we do enable each other in many ways - sometimes by talking about things we really should not discuss. Sometimes it's when we're out at a business function and we get shit-faced together because we both love to party. Sometimes it's just in the way we always manage to get in trouble together. But we also have a nice habit of knowing our boundaries with each other.


Because, dear reader, I really do love EH. And while I'm admittedly confused about the world and frequently confused about EH, I know that I love him. Could I have sex with someone else? Sure. I was always a bit of a tramp and never believed you had to love - or even like a partner to get it on. Hell, I've slept with men I downright loathed. But I like being honest with EH and I know how complicated lies can get. I know how easily obsessive I could be about extra-marital sex and how it could ruin things that matter to me.

So, I am faithful. For now and presumably for always. Sexual fantasies aside, EH is the only man I want to get naked and sweaty with.

So, it really was just sushi.

This time.

Sorry to disappoint.

You know, a blogger wrote this wildly sexy post about another blogger. I read it with a twinge of envy...and then wondered if I was jealous. And I was...until it occured to me how a blogger's sexual fantasy about me might read...

"She lowered herself onto him, her eyes narrowed and dark, and began to ride in slow, sinuous motions. He felt the pressure mounting and struggled to hold back, praying he could last long enough to sate her insatiable spirit. Just as he felt the battle waning and his climax threatening to overtake him, she startled the fuck out of him by leaning directly into his face and screaming like a banshee on fire "Are you okay?!?!?!?"

or

"His body throbbed as he pressed deeper and deeper inside of her. He stared down at her...the full breasts, the graceful neck, the long tangles or fire red hair twisted against the pillow...her green eyes, her full lips...which suddenly parted to whisper impromptu knock-knock jokes into his ear"

or

"She slid him into her warm, wet mouth - taking care to run the tip of her tongue around him. As she slid her head back, her eyes met his...she knelt before him, pleased with herself for the skills she was getting to demonstrate. Just before he closed his eyes again to savor the ecstasy, he could have sworn she appeared to began miming karaoke tunes using his swollen member as an unexpected microphone. He pretended not to notice...but he was nearly certain it had been an Elton John song, which only made the moment stranger."


Sometimes it sucks to have a sense of humor and a highly active sex drive. And, grant it I have been told that I ooze sex appeal (probably because it's always on my mind)...the same men who really want to fuck me, usually are just as obsessed with simply talking to me about their lives and awaiting my insight on it all.

Can't I be desired for just sex???

Use me.

Abuse me.

Violate my body in ways that would make a decent girl cower. I know I'm amusing and fun...but I'm also a love machine, baby! C'mon, EH. Let's make it a weekend to remember. You can do things to me that would make Grabby green with envy - knowing all the while that I'm still just all yours. Do things to me that will keep me panting after you, forgetting that another man could ever even exist. Conquer the body that still belongs exclusively to you.

This time :)

Posted by Red :: 4:18 PM :: | ---------------------------------------