Thursday, December 02, 2004

A (Too) Quiet Homefront

TEH is a martini lover. He collects the glasses, he stocks the liquor cabinet, he grows chocolate mint and pineapple mint expressly for the purpose of using them to garnish his martinis. That's why I am not showing him this article.

It was a touchy night between TEH and I. He's writing an article and when he writes, he loses the ability to focus on anything but what he's working on. I know I need to be understanding and supportive - but when days pass and I can't remember even speaking to him, I get cranky. I mentioned to him that I missed spending time with him that did not involve his nose glued to a computer screen and he was a little on the defensive side.

His writing has come between us before. I have to stress here that if he was paid to write instead of writing strictly for exposure for the past 2 years - I might be more sympathetic. The day his writing supports this family, he can have all the time he needs and I'll make sure to stay clear out of his way.

TEH is actually an incredibly talented writer. I should know...I'm his biggest fan. But TEH lacks the motivation to actually chase down a future in writing. Every now and again, about once a year, he'll make some half-hearted attempt to send his material out to editors and publishers. By the 3rd rejection, he's done.

It's just getting less and less fun to be in the same room with someone who is so focused on the computer that everytime you utter a word you are greeted with "What? What did you say?"

It's just a little lonely...

TEH seemed to understand the matter when I brought it up, and I was gentle in mentioning it. I just wanted him to try to balance the two - writing and life. I waited up for him until nearly midnight and when he finally came to bed, he invited me to take a shower. It was a sweet shower and when he began to turn on the sexy moves, I got the impression he was trying to either use sex to apologize or to appease me. But it's not about sex, it's just about having a little time together. So, I responded, but not with my usual enthusiasm and in short order, he gave up.

I don't mean to sound demanding or selfish. I want him to write. I want to make sure he has the time to write. But there was a time when TEH would wake up at 5:30 in the morning to write and I woke up alone. And then he would write from the minute he got home from work until late, late in the night - long after I had fallen asleep alone. I don't want to ever go back to that.

And hey, who would have thought I would ever let an opportunity for great sex pass me by?

Posted by Red :: 9:31 AM :: | ---------------------------------------