Wednesday, December 15, 2004

I hate making big decisions...

I've never liked it. And with my awful luck, bizarre things always go wrong.

When I bought my first new car this past May, I had to be restrained in the showroom by friends. I kept charging the door and begging to leave, insisting that my credit wasn't good enough, my license was suspended, my hair was all wrong...

They forced me to stay. I got the car. Of course, it was repossessed BY MISTAKE one month later, but I got it back the same day.

Nonetheless, not easy.

EH, SG and I went to look at the house last night. There are signs all over the place. The house is priced just for us. It's located in a bizarre proximity to EH's parents...if you stood in their front yard, the neighbor directly across the street would be our "backyard neighbor". And, finally, there is another sign that has me biting my lip and scratching my head, albeit not simultaneously because that would just be weird.

Many years ago, we lived in a tiny rural house (rented). There was this odd weed that grew on the side of it...all green leaves and little purple flowers that have the strongest smell...like perfume. EH always called them "Whorehouse flowers" because of the perfumy smell, but I loved them. I always swore they would grow at my house when we owned one.

We never knew the name of the flower. Never found it in a shop, or online. And, in 8 years, we have only found it two times. Once in front of the Wildlife Care Center and last night. Growing in front of the front entrance.

The house needs massive work. It's a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house. It appears to have ripped linoleum throughout. There is no dining room. The enormous backyard is a mess of ripped up sod and exposed sprinkler piping. The refrigerator has been cut into a wall. I have horrible credit, no money, need a stated income loan and can't verify assets. Have you guessed that I process mortgages for a living? Big coincidence, eh? Even I know what a "Hail Mary" this loan will be.

What to do. What to do. I want it...but I'm afraid. (And I'm pissed off that I am afraid!) I'm intimidated by the amount of work it needs. I'm afraid we won't qualify. I'm afraid we won't get it.

Damn.

Update: Damn, damn, damn. I just called and found out that there are 14 offers on the house right now. So much for that. Now I'm grumpy...

Posted by Red :: 9:10 AM :: | ---------------------------------------