Thursday, November 25, 2004

It Gets Odder

Well, it was another typically odd Thankgiving for The Odd Wife and The Even Husband.

About an hour before dinner comes the knock on the door. Our neighbor, an overweight, burly and brusque New Yorker that we adore wants to know if TEH and I would be willing to be extras in a movie shooting tomorrow. We both agree. I’ve done it before and know it’s boring but TEH is interested. Somehow in the next few minutes, the next phone call comes in and they now want to know if I would be willing to play the part of the waitress who serves the lead actors/actresses in the scene. Dyan Cannon, some guy who played the boyfriend in Flashdance and Sally Kellerman (Hotlips Hoolighan). I agree.

So now, TEH and I are wrapping up Thankgiving by ransacking our wardrobes. I have to look waitress-y and he has to look casual Floridian. As it turns out, I have very few waitress-y wardrobe items. I’m tempted to settle on a pair of khaki pants and a black t-shirt. They suggested I bring a dozen options and they will choose one of them. I was told no white, no red and nothing with a logo on it of any kind.

We have to be up before dawn to get our asses to Lake Worth, about an hour drive, and be on set by 8 am. Of course I will tell you all about it later. But just imagine…TEH and TOW coming soon to a theater near you. I believe the film is called Boca Boulevard or something.

I’ve been ruthless all night. Insisting my guests hurry up because I “have an early call” tomorrow, offering my autograph to family members, driving TEH nuts by insisting I have to “flesh out” my character. I keep telling him she’s not just a waitress….her name is Trixie and she’s in the Witness Protection program because she was the girlfriend of a major mob boss and she testified against him. TEH has decided his character will be a bounty hunter for the mob hunting down the ratfink girlfriend that testified against his mob boss who finds himself strangely attracted to the voluptuous redheaded waitress named Trixie.

Yeah. We’re going to be on the cutting room floor or thrown offset for sure. But we’ll have a few laughs in the meantime.

I’m typing this in a green clay mask to ensure my skin is glowing tomorrow. I look ridiculous. TEH is sitting on the couch near me pretending not to notice that I look like a Martian hooker. Good times…

It would have been nice to not film the day after I gorged myself on a ton of fatty foods. My damned pants are tight.

Showbiz is so trying, isn’t it?

Posted by Red :: 10:45 PM :: | ---------------------------------------