Monday, November 08, 2004

It's a dandy investment opportunity!

I tell you, if I ever have to marry again (and I hope I don't have to) - I am going to be much more selective. None of this love and romance bullshit. I'm marrying me a sheik, an oil tycoon or a land baron.

In Los Angeles, CA they are reporting on a woman's $250 million divorce settlement for sale. Apparently she divorced Sheik Mohammed al-Fassi (who incidentally had a fondness for painting his home - and the genitals on the classic Italian nude statues adorning his front yard - in garish colors.) over his plans to take more wives. In 1983, a judge awarded her half his assets, including 2 Boeing 707 airliners, 36 cars (where the hell do you park them?), a yacht, 26 horses, a private zoo and homes in Spain, London and Miami Beach.

Unfortunately, the good sheik died of an infected hernia in 2002 after claiming that he had transferred all of his holdings to relatives, including Saudi King Fahd and his brother Prince Turki. A court has ruled that Turki is liable for al-Fassi's debt, but Bilinelli's attorneys said they have been unable to find his assets.

I have the perfect solution. Sell this debt to a couple of goodfellas in the New Jersey area...a couple guys with names like Vinny-the-Bug and Guido-the-Insomniac. Guys that are real eager to collect. Guys who don't give a shit about your royal lineage and are strictly "fuck you, pay me" mentality.

Posted by Red :: 11:57 AM :: | ---------------------------------------