Friday, October 01, 2004

Funny Things to Do at My 90 Day Review

I'm having lunch with 2 of my bosses next Wednesday to discuss my 90 day review. I've been coming up with entertaining ways to cope with the stress.

1. Immediately after sitting, line my blood pressure medications up in front of my plate, take several deep breaths and say "Okay, GO!" (Randomly pop pills as they speak).

2. Attempt to slice wrists open with the butter knife upon hearing criticism

3. When any criticism is heard, slap closed fist to my forehead repeatedly muttering "Stupid, Odd Wife! Stupid, stupid!"

4. Cry

5. Order insanely alcoholic beverages ("Iced tea", "iced tea", "double bourbon on the rocks - and keep 'em coming!")

6. Respond to every comment with "I know you are, but what am I?"

7. Help myself to food from their plates.

8. Demand a new title that incorporates the phrase "Her Royal Highness"

9. When we disagree on anything, suggest we could resolve it by arm wrestling and shove the plates aside to make room. When they refuse, make "chicken" noises at them.

10. Blame my mistakes on them. ("No, it's your fault I was late Tuesday morning!")

Posted by Red :: 7:12 AM :: | ---------------------------------------